Southern Linguist and a couple of English friends, in a bakery in Northern France a few months ago:
Southern Linguist: "Bonjour, 15 chocolatines, s’il vous plaît."
Northern Baker: "Pardon?"
English friend: "Je pense qu’elle veut dire "pains au chocolat"."
Northern Baker: "Ah, 15 pains au chocolat, bien sûr."
Northern Baker 1, Southern Linguist 0. Céline, professional English to French translator, learns age 35 that "chocolatine" is mainly used in the South of her childhood and loses all linguistic credibility amongst her English friends.
Southern Linguist in a Leeds bakery, last week:
Southern Linguist: "Hi, can I have a baguette, please?"
Northern Baker: "A what, love?"
Southern Linguist: "A baguette," I say, pointing at it.
Northern Baker looks at me and says: "That’s a French stick, love."
Northern Baker 2, Southern Linguist 0. Céline, professional English to French translator, resorts to pointing at things in a shop and learns how to say "baguette" in Northern.
This isn’t over, Northern Baker.