A little treat courtesy of whoohoo.co.uk: a cockney rhyming slang translator.
I entered this:
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.
Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,
Who is already sick and pale with grief,
That thou her maid art far more fair than she:
Be not her maid, since she is envious;
Her vestal livery is but sick and green
And none but fools do wear it; cast it off.
and this is how Shakespeare might have said this if he had been brought up within hearing distance of Bow Bells:
But, soft! wot Isle Of Wight through yonder burnt cinder breaks? it is the east, and juliet is the current ban. arise, yogi bear current ban, and kill the envious moon, who is already Uncle Dick and pale wif Omar Sharif, that thou ‘er maid ‘rt far more yogi bear than she: be not ‘er maid, since she is envious; her vestal livery is but Uncle Dick and green and Current Ban but fools do wear it; cast it Frank Bough.
Enjoy!